99 Degrees

At dinner not long ago, one of my daughters asked me, “Did anything funny happen at school today?”  I guess I’ve told enough stories about my students that she has come to expect them.

So for her, here is a little collection of some recent favorites.

———-

While doing hallway duty I saw Brendyn walking by wearing a Nike t-shirt that said, “These Guns Are Loaded.”  We have a few students in the middle school who could wear this shirt without embarrassment.  But I had to admire Brendyn, with his scrawny arms, for wearing it.  He wasn’t lacking in self confidence.

I couldn’t resist stopping him to ask, “Hey, Brendyn, can I see your guns?”

“Uh, not right now…” he replied with a little grin as he hurried away.

———-

My third period class was working its way through a new piece of music recently when we got to a particularly tricky part.

“O.k., class,” I said.  “Here we go.  Let’s tackle this tough passage.”

Without any hesitation, a trombone players got down on one knee and said, “It’s Tebow time.”

———

In a 6th grade Cadet Band rehearsal, Jake was getting impatient with the slow speed we were taking to practice a fast piece.

“Are we ever going to take this piece faster?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said, “but we have to walk before we can run.”

To which another student offered, “Forrest Gump can run.”

——-

While recounting my trip to see the U.S. Navy Band the night before, I also told my students about an especially tall man I had seen at the concert.

Me:  “I saw the U.S. Navy Band in concert last night.  Afterwards, in the lobby, I saw a man who is at least 7′ 6″ tall.”

Class:  “Wow…”

Me:  “He also had his teenage son with him; he looked like he is maybe 14 or 15, but he is already almost 6′ 6″  tall.”

Class:  “Wow…”

Me:  “Can you imagine being so tall by that age, but knowing that you could still grow another foot?  I mean, think about it – he could end up with three feet.”

———–

Philip was being especially squirrelly one day.

“Philip, you need to settle down,”  I told him.

“But I’m not ready to start a family…” he objected.

———

On a recruiting visit to a 5th grade class I asked the students to tell me some of the reasons they might choose not to join the band.

A girl raised her hand and said, “My dad told me that all the nerds are in Band.”

When the laughter had died down, I replied, “That’s not true.  I know a lot of nerds who aren’t in Band.”

———

A couple years ago I was working in the BandLand worldwide headquarters (my office) when Chris walked in with a big smile on his face and announced,

“Guess what, Mr. Shaver… It’s 99 degrees in my pocket!”

I really didn’t know what to say.

“Yep,” he explained, “I’ve been carrying this temperature gauge in my pocket all day, and no matter if I’m running or sitting, it has stayed at 99 degrees in my pocket.”

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8 responses to this post.

  1. I absolutely LOVE this article! Nice job! Kids do and say the funniest things and they make the very best stories! It takes a unique individual to be a band/orchestra director, and a sense of humor helps! Enjoy those kids…and write some more of their quips and quotes. Too funny!

    Reply

  2. Posted by Angela Shaver on April 19, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    The 99 degrees story is definitely my favorite although I like the one about Philip.

    Reply

  3. Posted by Rachael Shaver on April 19, 2012 at 7:59 pm

    This most definetly my favorite one!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply

  4. Posted by Marcus. on April 19, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    I reserve my five star ratings for posts like this.
    I couldn’t stop laughing! Excellent job!
    Marcus
    “it’s Tebow time!”

    Reply

  5. Posted by Mark on April 20, 2012 at 9:25 am

    “I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith…..”
    Maybe he has a third foot.

    Reply

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